you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
