We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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