actually, I'm a sock model
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
