I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
