I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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