About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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