I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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