I have demons in me.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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