so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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