nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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