I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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