what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
