you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
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