I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
