he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
