Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
