i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
