Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
