thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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