he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
