best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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