she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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