hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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