i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
