I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
