So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
