Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
