fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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