I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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