Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
