Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize