worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
