i just had sex bonerless
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
