Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
