On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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