Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Small penises have feelings too.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
