Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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