I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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