I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
two words: eviction party
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
