So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think I am morally bankrupt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize