Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
