Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We just shotgunned beers for America
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
