Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
