Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone came in the potted fern
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
