I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
