I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
