considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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