I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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