you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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