I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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