Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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