dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
