I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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