We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
